For some, they is plural—period. They refers to them.
For others, they can be either plural or singular, depending on the context.
There has been a fierce debate over this question, an argument that has been brewing for years. See, for example, a 2020 article titled “The Tragedy of the Singular ‘They,'” a piece from 2016 titled “Everyone Uses Singular ‘They,’ Whether They Realize It Or Not,” a story from 2022 titled “Opinion: An argument for the singular use of they/them pronouns,” and an article from last year titled “Venom sparks ‘woke’ debate for unlikely reason over pronouns.” The latter story also uses the word woke in its headline—that’s a topic for a future blog post.
Yes, it is true that they has predominantly been used for years as a plural pronoun. It’s also true that they has been used as a singular pronoun for longer than many people realize. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the first singular use of they was in 1375, when it was included in William and the Werewolf, a medieval romance poem.
The truth is, language has always evolved and continues to do so. “The English language is evolving at a faster rate now than at any other time in history because of social media and instant messaging,” according to a Guardian article, “ICYMI, English language is changing faster than ever, says expert,” published more than 10 years ago, on May 1, 2015.
And perhaps a more important truth is this: If nonbinary folks associate strongly with the they singular pronoun and don’t feel that either he or she accurately describes them, then don’t kindness, empathy, and integrity demand that we refer to them as they see themself/themselves? (See what I did there?) As this story from Teen Vogue says, “pronouns are personal.”
For a deeper dive into this topic, check out Merriam-Webster‘s take, which provides a singular them example that probably won’t ruffle anyone’s feathers: “If someone calls, tell them I’ll be back soon.”
